There never has been a time in my forty-one years as a registered nurse that I was not exposed to some aspects of nursing burnout, either noticing and being affected by it in my nurse colleagues or in myself from time to time. Burnout was not even a concept back in those early days. We had no defining term that described our frustration, fatigue and, often, sheer exhaustion at just doing our daily job. We have been called professionals, with standards we have to exemplify to present a professional image. Yet, most of the time we have been relegated to just getting the job done. And this job has always been a somewhat dirty and difficult one of caring for persons in deep need, complicated crises and overwhelmingly frightening dis-ease situations. A burned out nurse can unintentionally be a big liability in the delivery of optimal health care.
Today the concept of "burnout" itself is trying to undergo a makeover, with new terms coming out for it. People are hesitant to use the word burnout at all. This is especially true for the nurse who is burned out, whether in small, subtle ways of job dissatisfaction or more severely as nurses who would quit the profession all together (if they did not have to meet life's necessary financial obligations.)
The potential for healing nursing burnout is really within the burned out nurse her/himself. This is a challenging notion, I realize. If you are that burned out nurse, how could you possibly accept that you are the one who can transform it? It already takes all your energy reserves to just show up for work!
There are two kinds of burned out nurses. Both are exhausted and at their wit's end in their work. One talks about the burnout, often in the form of bitching (don't you just hate this word?) and lashing out at fellow workers and family or friends. The other one is the burned out nurse who has reached a kind of despairing complacency, but still longs for a solution, a better something.
I have been both, and in recent years found myself immersed in a kind of deep grief that I could no longer stay on the job as a nurse. This decision has taken a personal financial toll, but I still feel that I did the right thing to step aside and get a different perspective. Out of this came the birth of a nursing burnout retreat called "Re-Membering the Healer's Spirit." When I teach this retreat I wake up happy and joyful about going to work that day. How many times do nurses really wake up happy and excited about going to work?
The burnout retreat has revealed another aspect to nursing burnout that I had not realized. It seems that the nurses who could benefit the most from the retreat are not able to let themselves do it. Part of it is the huge energy depletion in the burned out nurse, that barely allows them to get done what is already on their list. And with family obligations, the household chores and the daily list of things needed to be done, there leaves very little time for getting away or going on "retreat." Yet, this can be the most potent time to drop everything, and take a very deep breath!
Underpinning all this, is the level of self-worth that is often diminished in the burned out nurse. We are taught as nurses that we have to be exceptional at our work, be strong and able to multi-task where lives are depending on it. If we aren't measuring up, as our symptoms of burnout are telling us, then we see ourselves as nurse failures. This devaluing of ourselves is the most profound aspect of nursing burnout, that somehow we just aren't good enough. The cycle deepens here...if we aren't a good nurse then we can't do a good job, and if we are exhausted, drained and on the edge, how can we be a good nurse?
There is a sadness coming over me as I write these words, because I know at this very moment in time, there are nurses out there thinking and feeling this way right now. And there are persons (we call them patients) who are in dire need of a nurse who is present, competent, caring and energized to help them.
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An open invitation is sent out to anyone (not just nurses) to gift
yourself with a retreat from The Deeper Well. Read more about them at The Deeper Well website, but know
that the fluid, organic nature of the retreat is not so easy to put in
words.
There are two dates set this fall, one in October and one in November, and both have open slots. You can also schedule a retreat for a different timing, if you have three other persons who also want to come. The retreat does offer 24 hours of Continuing Education for California or Nevada nurses.
You shine. May you shine on.
Posted by: Lori | 09/17/2010 at 10:55 AM